Kids need and crave a sense of security in their lives. They thrive in routine and consistency. But how do you provide that for your kids when your life seems chaotic, unorganized, and your brain a bit jumbled? Maybe you travel a lot. Perhaps you are moving for the first time. No matter the situation... providing a sense of security for your kids is at the forefront of your mind!

Here are My Top Tips for Providing a Sense of Security for Your Kids, No Matter Where You are or What Your Life Looks Like!

Several years ago, we decided to move our family overseas. At the time, our now eight-year-old daughter was three. Three-year-olds adapt pretty well to change, so initially, we thought little about how we could give her a sense of security. We believed that our love for her was enough. It wasn't until the last few years that we realized how much she needed more intentionality from us in that area.

Love does provide a sense of security for children, but there's so much more that you can do to help your kids in the "unsure" moments of their lives.

Kids go through so many transitions in life. We must remember that our children share in the experiences, transitions, and changes that we, as adults, go through. Sometimes we forget that. We see them as strong and resilient, and although that is true, providing a sense of security for them is essential to their overall mental health and wellness as much as it is to ours.

These are my top tips for helping your children have a sense of security anywhere!

#1 Make Family Bonding a Priority

When we were preparing to move overseas, we talked to many adults who, as children, lived in a country other than their home country. One of the things that we heard repeatedly was to make sure that we created our family unit to be a "home" for our children.

This essentially means that you create such an open, consistent, and dependable environment in your home that the sense of "home" is found in people and not a place.

We've helped foster a sense of security for our daughters by prioritizing that "relationship home" through family bonding. We do movie nights, trips to local parks, pizza and game nights, and all sorts of creative things to create a culture of family closeness.

Bonding-type events and moments can happen anywhere in the world. We capitalize on places with a ton of adventure and become creative in areas where it's not so easy. Either way, the sense of security is found in the quality time spent with each other! 

#2 Travel With Traditions

Traditions and celebrations are fun, but unfortunately, when you are in other cultures, they can look entirely different. The lack of familiarity can cause a lack of stability and increased disappointment for your kids.

The first year we celebrated Christmas in a different culture, my daughter found it a bit uneventful and bland. She was more accustomed to the hustle and bustle of Christmas in America. She missed all the excitement and anticipation that came along with it!

We decided that rather than let her eventually adjust to the new way of living, we would create our own Christmas traditions that meshed well with our new culture and our native one. We could pack them up and travel with them anywhere. 

Every family is different, and you'll find what works for you. Here are a few ideas that can translate anywhere! 

1. Watching Christmas movies together.
2. Decorating a tree (no matter what it looks like, LOL). 
3. Building Gingerbread houses or Baking or Decorating Cookies! 
4. Having a meal together and inviting friends. 
5. Listening to Christmas Music as you do crafts!

Nothing displays the versatility of our Christmases quite like these photos of our daughters with Santa! To tell you the truth, our homemade Santa (my husband) was the fan favorite!

#3 Call and make every place "yours."

This sounds silly, and if you're a rule follower by nature, you may find this one a bit hard, but the simple act of calling every place "yours" and making it feel that way can help kids feel a sense of security.

If we are traveling, we use words like our hotel room, our bed, or our room at _____'s house. 

For example, in 2020, when we were displaced from our home overseas, we temporarily stayed in a camper. It wasn't "our" camper, but we ensured our daughter felt like it was.

We allowed her to decorate "her" room with her name, lights, and a special bedspread! It wasn't anything fancy, but in her sweet little 6-year-old heart, it was everything she needed to feel at home!

I don't know about you, but for my kids, if we call a place "ours" and make it feel that way, it doesn't matter if we stay for a month, a week, or even a few days. They feel the safety and security we want them to have!

#4 Bring along familiar Items

Confession, this one was someone else's great idea, not really mine, LOL!

In a frantic hurry to make sure my daughter felt safe and secure for our adventure overseas, I googled "how to help kids with a big move." The number one thing that was recommended was to bring along familiar items. Mostly bedding and toys.

With limited suitcase space, it's hard to imagine filling up one with just toys and everyday items for just the kids. However, that's exactly what we did (and still do)!

No matter where we go in the world, our kids bring a book-bag full of familiar toys, and they each bring blankets and stuffed animals to sleep with. This may seem inconvenient, but trust me, it's worth the time, space, and hassle!

#5 Allow your kids to express their feelings

Life on the go can feel fun and exciting sometimes, but it can also feel unstable and insecure if you aren't careful. One of the most significant ways we provide a sense of security for our kids despite our constant on-the-go status is to allow them to express their displeasure for specific places or things.

We take their advice, consider it, and then do our best to help work through the issues.

Allowing your kids to express their feelings helps in many areas, especially when it comes to feeling unstable! Expressing their deepest emotions may not fix anything, but it will enable them to feel heard and considered. Most of the time, for children, that speaks volumes to them and gives them a sense of security emotionally!

For our family, this looks like asking questions. We will ask our daughter to tell us what she likes most about a place, her favorite thing to do there, and if there is anything she doesn't like. Almost always, these few questions will lead to her opening up and sharing her feelings.

You guys already know that I am all about kids sharing their feelings! Our kid's emotional health is just as important as their physical health!

Seasons of transition or a nomadic lifestyle can be hard on children and adults. Allowing children to be open and honest about those struggles can help us all work together as a family to feel safe and secure!

These have been my top tips for providing a sense of security for your kids no matter where you are in life!

I hope these tips helped you. If they did, please comment below and share this article with your friends and family!

Saying Goodbye to Anxious,

Kristina G.

Here are a few additional Parenting articles that may interest you:

Other resources to help your kids with change and transition:

7 Ways to Help Kids Cope with Big Life Changes

Change is Hard: How to Help Your Kids Handle Transitions