Raising kids feels like the most complex job in the world! Often, we find ourselves, especially as mothers, feeling like we could and should do more and be more no matter the effort we put in. It is a vicious cycle of trying hard, feeling like it wasn't enough, and trying harder.

These are the 5 lies about raising kids that cause significant anxiety (if you believe them)!

If you're reading this, you most likely clicked because you either are a parent or will soon be one. You are all too aware of how difficult it is to raise kids. You're probably quite familiar with most, if not all, of the lies we will talk about here. However, like me, you struggle to stop believing them.

I want to highlight these 5 lies because I believe they are extremely dangerous to our overall success in parenting. If we can identify them as lies to dismiss rather than harsh truths to embrace, we can put them in their rightful place in our lives!

These are the 5 Lies Every Parent shouldn't believe about raising kids!

Raising Kids

LIE #1 ABOUT RAISING KIDS 

You're not good enough

Here's the thing, we all, at some point, have struggled to feel worthy of parenting this beautiful child we've been given. None of us feel fully equipped for the job. In life, most of the time, we have it have some sort of experience for the jobs we apply for, but it's not like that in raising kids. Becoming a parent is ALL OJT, on-the-job training. There is no experience required.

Believing the like that you aren't good enough implies that someone somewhere was "good enough," and you do not measure up. This is simply not true. You may be figuring out this "raising kids" thing one day at a time, but we all are; that's nothing unique to you! Not one single parent has ever been the perfect parent.

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The truth is, I've struggled to see this for years, and in the end, I realized that this type of thinking only damaged my ability to be present with my kids. I was constantly battling anxiety and fear, which meant that my mind was continually trying to troubleshoot my parenting (I still struggle with this from time to time.)

There isn't any enjoyment in that, and once I realized this, it freed me (and still is freeing me) to enjoy raising kids and being their mom.

Dear friend, this is your reminder today, you are good enough. Your Creator gifted you with your children, and God knows that you can do what feels impossible and do it well with His strength!

LIE #2 ABOUT RAISING KIDS 

Your "Mistake" has scarred

your kids for life

This may not be a point that everyone can relate to, but it probably is if you struggle with deep anxiety. I've included this because those of us who need to stop believing this lie REALLY need to stop believing it. It has robbed us for far too long!

Have you ever screwed up? Screamed at your kids? Told them to go to their room in a "not-so-nice" tone? Or maybe you really dropped the ball on something important to them because you got too busy. Feeling like a failure is one thing, but living in shame while raising kids is an entirely different feeling.

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Here's the truth, we all fail. We all make mistakes. Those mistakes don't define us any more than they do anyone else. (We tend to judge ourselves more harshly when it comes to parenting.)

Raising kids is hard, and mistakes will be made. We must remember this truth; there is no such thing as failure, only good feedback on how to do it better next time!

LIE #3 ABOUT RAISING KIDS 

Other parents are

better than you are

Boy-oh-boy, I have struggled with this one!

Constant comparison is a trap that most of us find ourselves in at some point while raising kids.

I'm a firm believer in protecting your peace, and sometimes when it comes to raising kids, it means unfollowing parents that make us feel inferior (even if unintentionally.) There is nothing wrong with bragging about your kids, but if you can't handle someone else's highlight reel without comparing yourself to it, unfollow them for the season you are raising kids!

Here's the deal: we all have our strengths and weaknesses, especially when it comes to parenting. When we believe the lie that says others are better parents than we are, we are essentially comparing their strengths to our weaknesses. When we do that, we never measure up. In the same way, when measured up to someone else's weaknesses, our strengths make us seem better than them.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Is that ever true in parenting?!

LIE #4 ABOUT RAISING KIDS 

Your child isn't developed enough or is deficient somehow

#3 and #4 are one and the same. Just like comparing yourself to other parents is anxiety-inducing and exhausting, so is comparing your children to other kids.

We are all uniquely made. We are all beautifully different. No one person is exactly like the other, and that's what makes us all special, and that's also what makes your child a special gift to this world. There is absolutely no one like them.

Our children, like us, are growing up in a world where they will constantly struggle not to compare themselves to others. One of the ways we, as parents, can make this a little easier for them is by focusing on their strengths instead of pressuring them, in their weaknesses, to measure up to others' strengths and all of society's "norms."

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Growth charts, developmental milestone apps, and standardized testing are all great tools in their own right. However, they should not become the standard to which we hold our children.

Each child has distinctly different make-up in both their DNA and personalities. One of the ways we can help eliminate anxiety in parenting is to focus on our child's strengths and assist them, without judgment, in their weak areas.

None of us will do this perfectly, so resist the temptation to expect that from yourself either!

LIE #5 ABOUT RAISING KIDS 

You're the only family

dealing with this

Perhaps the greatest of all lies that anxiety tells you while raising kids is that you are alone, and no other family can relate to you and your struggle with your child!

One thing I find most interesting in my parenting journey is how many times I've let myself sulk in isolation and anxiety because my kid did something that I just "knew" no one else would understand! After all, I had promised myself that "I WOULD NOT DARE" let my kid behave in such a way! (Oh, the horror, LOL)

No matter how hard I work on this and tell myself the truth, that I'm not alone, I still find myself in this trap of thinking.

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The truth is, SURELY I am not alone! Some kid somewhere has misbehaved and sent their mom into a full-on panic believing the same lie as I did! In fact, they probably survived just fine!

One of the beauties of the internet is that you can do a quick Google search about what just happened with your kids and likely find at least 100 more parents who have dealt with the same things! Yet, somehow, as easy as that sounds, we let ourselves sulk in our struggle without even taking a single second to search it out.

This isn't a "you" or "me" problem; this is a societal problem. We all play a part in normalizing parenting struggles. We aren't the only parents dealing with these struggles, and the more we share, the less alone we will make other families feel!

We all want to be the best parent possible and raise the best humans. 

There is nothing wrong with that goal. Still, we must leave room for our own faults and our child's. We all fail and struggle. We must leave space for that because perfection, truly, isn't possible, especially when it comes to raising kids!

So next time you find yourself believing any of these lies, remember, we are all there with you! You aren't alone, and we are all in this together!

These have been the top 5 lies

parents believe about raising kids!

Let me know in the comments below how this helped you!

Saying Goodbye to Anxious,

Kristina G.