Are you in an unhealthy step parent relationship? Could you use some helpful tips to create a positive relational experience in your life?

These are my top 5 Tips for every Step Parent! I hope you can learn from my wins and losses.

Being a step parent is both difficult and rewarding. Blended families are on the rise in America and all across the globe. Depending on which statistics you adhere to, the divorce rate in 2022 will be between 44% and 50%. 

Laura Petherbridge (2019) states, "Of those who get divorced, 75% will remarry, and 65% will bring children from a previous union." You can read more about those statics by clicking here.

Not all blended families have resulted from divorce. Single parents contribute to the blended family statistic as well as blended families by way of the death of a spouse.

Here are 5 Must-Have Tips that every step parent needs to apply to their lives!

I would also love to say the tips were learned from great victories. However, after fourteen years of being a step-parent, many tips you will read are lessons learned the hard way.

Top Tips for Every Step Parent 

step parent Tip #1

Your new journey stems from someone else's loss.

Laura Petherbridge with Lifeway Research touched on this point in the link above. I was a single mom when I reconnected with my now-husband. He was freshly separated, and I was slightly jaded (all right, incredibly jaded). A mutual friend connected us.

Honestly, a slower approach to our new relationship would have served everyone better. My husband experienced the end of a marriage, I experienced the end of a relationship, and the children experienced even more significant loss – the loss of their family units.

It is essential to mention that my husband and I love the Lord now, but our wayward lives did not start that way.

My step-parenting journey gathered everyone's losses without understanding anyone's real feelings – including the children. Hindsight would have approached the new road ahead with extreme caution. 

Wisdom would have told us to slow down, assess the damages, and push forward slowly.

step parent Tip #2

Honoring the biological parent comes before my feelings.

This article will not be the most popular blog post because it goes against our selfish natures.

I was young, naïve, and headstrong. I had no one speaking step-parenting wisdom to me, and I made a few mistakes along the way. Frankly, I may not have listened, even if anyone tried to intervene. Tip number two is the biggest mistake I have made to date. I must preface this with the fact that my husband's ex-wife and I are on excellent terms now. This peaceful relationship was not always the case.

The secondary title to this tip could be – you cannot be an amazing step parent while being a jerk to their biological parent. 

The kids see this behavior, and the lack of respect shown to the other parent causes the kids to utilize manipulation tactics against all parties. A lack of honor and respect for the parents on both sides creates a mess that is difficult to clean up later.

step parent Tip #3

 Separate rules for separate houses cause chaos.

It took the four adults in my situation several years to realize that separate rules for separate houses cause chaos. You cannot tell me how to parent over here, and I will not tell you how to parent over there does not add stability for the children in an already unstable situation.

The most important thing to remember is that the children and their well-being come before our ego. 

Some of you now say, "You do not know my situation." Trust me when I tell you you cannot possibly know mine. We were at each other's throats. When I reflect on the years of chaos, I wholly believe that most of it could have been avoided by putting our egos aside and working together for our children.

If I had it all to do over, I would have yielded to some wishes for no other reason but out of compassion for another human being and to help prevent a broken heart.

step parent Tip #4

 Communication is Key.

While being a step-parent, communication is the key to an effective relationship. It is impossible to over-communicate as a step-parent. A trivial detail to you could be a detail that causes the biological parent to feel slighted. That parent misses out on a significant part of their child's life.

As step-parents, loving your step-child involves keeping the biological parent informed of important events that do not happen when the child is in their home.

This may feel like an out-of-reach task if your situation is filled with chaos, but it is achievable. 

One way our homes achieved the communication aspect of our relationship was when I left the doctor's office with one of our children, I would call their mother to inform her of what the doctor had to say. When Mom could not be at the doctor's visit, I communicated immediately to help her feel included.

Communication goes hand-in-hand with honor (from tip #2).

When you honor the step-parent, you will have no problem communicating with them. 

step parent Tip #5

Boundaries are good for Everyone!

Step-parenting will come with the absolute need for boundaries!

The biological parent will need boundaries on what to expect from the step-parent. The step-parent will need boundaries on their involvement with the biological parents. Mostly, the children will need to see healthy boundaries observed and respected between both sets of adults.

The lack of boundaries can create an environment that fosters the ability to manipulate others and children pick up on this quickly. 

Step-parents who show honor, honestly communicate, and promote unity will allow space for healthy boundaries and foster healthy children.

I hope my 5 Tips for Step Parents helps you succeed on your step-parenting journey!

A blended family can feel overwhelming, but it is possible to promote a healthy environment despite the loss you experienced to get you to your current situation.

If your situation seems dim right now, don't be discouraged, friend; all hope is not lost! You can have a healthy step parent experience. 

Let me know in the comments below if this article helped you! What are some tips that you'd give others? Leave them in the comments below!

Saying Goodbye to Anxious,

Nikki U.

More Articles on Step Parenting to Help You on your journey!

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Stepparenting: It Takes Two

15 Common Step Parenting Problems and How to Cope