Parenting with anxiety is not something anyone wants, but so many of us struggle with anxiety and anxious thoughts that it’s nearly impossible not to! These are the 12 life hacks you need to know about to make parenting a little easier!
Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding roles in life. The love that a mother and father have for their children is endless. With great love can come even more anxiousness. If you struggle with anxiety outside of parenting, the daily stresses of life can impact your parenting. There are additional pressures that come along with parenting with anxiety that others would never understand.
In this post, you are going to receive the most helpful tips for parenting with anxiety! By the end, you will have everything you need to conquer daily tasks that seem impossible most days!
These are the top tips for Parenting with Anxiety that will change your life!
Life Hacks for Parenting with Anxiety
1. Get to Know Yourself
When it comes to parenting with anxiety, we must realize is that it increases when we neglect ourselves and our own needs for too long. As a parent, we often put the needs of our children above our own, which is fine, but then we abandon our needs altogether, which is not ok.
We hear about self-care a lot, and some of us even reject it as “selfish.” The truth is that without caring for your own needs, you cannot be the best version of yourself for anyone. We always want our children to get the best of us, and that is good. However, when we deplete our resources and energies, we have nothing left to give them.
Knowing your own needs is so important when you are parenting with anxiety.
2. Be Honest with Your Children
and Your Spouse
Anxiety is so unpredictable. The worst part of it all is trying to hide it from your spouse and kids. If anxiety hits when you should be happy and excited, it can be problematic to manage.
It’s a lot easier for us to tell our spouse than to talk to our children about our anxieties. If you have older children that are mature enough to handle those type of discussions, I suggest talking to them directly (probably leaving out less important details). However, small children may be too young to understand what is going on, so it’s better to use a phrase like, “mommy needs a break right now because I am not feeling too well.” Either way, you’re making them aware that something is wrong and not leaving them questioning if they did something wrong.
Sometimes you only need a moment or two to breathe and get your thoughts in order, and other times you may need to walk away for a little longer. Do not feel pressure to move on quickly, because that can make the anxiety worse! Remember, you are a better parent when you deal with the anxiousness without trying to manage it!
3. Ask Your Family or Friends for Help
One of the reasons we suffer from anxiety for so long is because we refuse to ask for help. For a long time, there was a stigma attached to having anxiety or dealing with anxiousness. Now, thanks to some brave mental health advocates, these issues have been more normalized. Still, in our own minds, we must not let people know we are struggling. In our own minds, we are weak. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth!
Sharing with someone that you are struggling with anxiety is hard but parenting with anxiety is harder! Do not subscribe to mom-guilt. You are strong and brave and can be honest with those who love you and admit to struggling.
Some practical ways you can ask for help are:
- Asking the grandparents to watch the kids for a few hours.
- Talking to friends about a babysitting swap, where you watch their kids one day and then they watch yours the next.
- Tell your husband that you need an hour or two to get a pedicure or go to a coffee shop with a friend.
Sometimes all you need is a pause from your environment and the things that are causing you the most stress. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do for yourself and your kids!
4. Journaling
If you’ve read any of my articles, you know that I love journaling. Journaling is one of my top tips for stopping anxiety right at its start! When you are parenting, there are times when you simply can’t express your feelings. If you are a single mom, the chance for those moments decreases significantly.
Journaling is a way to release the intense and overwhelming feelings you are having. When you journal, you can express feelings and emotions that you may never speak out loud. If somethings feel almost too hard to write in a journal, I recommend doing it digitally. Once you’ve been able to release the heaviness of the moment, you can erase it.
Journaling can be done in the bathroom or car when you have a few minutes to yourself, nap time for the kids, or even on your break at work. It’s an easy way to release what is weighing you down.
5. Take A Break
There is a lot to be said about a good, relaxing vacation! Maybe you can’t afford a vacation or don’t have the time, so plan a staycation instead. Either way, mama, you NEED a break!
Parenting with anxiety can feel like we are trapped in an endless cycle of trying to stop ourselves from breaking down. What better way to take the pressure off than to off-load a bit with a vacation?
If a family vacation doesn’t eliminate your stress, then that’s not the type of vacation you need! Plan a day trip with a friend, an overnight rendezvous with your spouse, or it can be a simple as dropping your kids off at their grandparents for the weekend.
Whatever it takes, you need some “me” time, and you do not need to feel sorry for it! You’ll be a better parent afterward!
6. Talk to someone
We can’t talk about anxiety without mentioning that counseling is always an option. The great thing about living in the age of zoom and other meeting sites is that you can find counseling from the comfort of your own home!
There is no shame in talking through your stressors with a professional. If you woke up every single day with intense stomach cramps or migraines, you would go to see a professional for those issues. For whatever reason, we do not treat mental health the same way. It could be said that our mental health determines our quality of life as much as our physical health does. Here are a few options if you are looking to talk to someone online:
7. Prayer
I’m including prayer in my list of tips to help those who are parenting with anxiety. It has been the number one thing that has helped me most on this journey!
Prayer is helpful if you have trouble trying to control everything, and the moments when you feel the most anxious are because you feel out of control. I have found that if I stop and pray and leave it in God’s hands, most of the pressure will subside.
It has been said that most of what we worry about never happens. When we leave our worries with the one who is all-knowing and all-powerful, we can relax knowing that no matter what happens, we chose to trust in God above it all. He can bring comfort and peace to situations that we never thought possible!
8. Listen to Music
Music is probably one of the simplest ways to handle anxiety as a parent. Whether it’s having anxious thoughts because you are a parent or dealing with anxiety while you are trying to parent your children, music is a helpful outlet to choose.
Music can shift your mindset and calm the crazy you feel. Music can also quiet your inner critic if you feel like you’re failing as a parent. Anxiety is usually an onslaught of worry, panic, fear, self-hatred, and the like. Music can get your mind on something else for a moment and give you a sense of control back with your thoughts. If you would like, I’ve linked a few of my favorite playlists for you to use:
9. exercise
This one is simple; anxiety equals stress, and stress leads to anxiety. What is one of the best ways to eliminate stress? Exercise! It’s a proven fact that stress is reduced by endorphins. Endorphins are released when we exercise.
If you can find 30 minutes a day to exercise, your anxiety levels will go down significantly. As a result, it will help you parent with less anxiety and more patience!
10. Check your diet
Unfortunately, when we are full of anxiety and stress, we often turn to bad foods for comfort. I have a great article on emotional eating if this is something you struggle with.
There is a whole list of foods that worsen anxiety. Some of those foods include sugary foods (cakes and cookies) and drinks, gluten, processed oils (fast food and chips), and although I hate to admit it, coffee and teas!
One of the best things I ever did for my parenting with anxiety was cutting out sugar and refined carbohydrates from my diet. I lowered my moments of anxiousness. I was able to handle stress with stride, and as a bonus, I lost 90 pounds!
11. use essential oils
Over time, I’ve heard many people talk about the use of essential oils for calming and sleep. Until a few years ago, I had no idea they could be used for anxiety, stress, panic, fear, and all sorts of other mental health issues.
I should note that I am not a doctor, and this is not medical advice. I am just telling you what worked for me!
Being a parent is all-consuming. Sometimes we don’t have time for a vacation, for music, for journaling. We forget to exercise and are more than willing to down a piece of cake if it makes us feel good at the moment. Using essential oils is one of the daily practices I have put into place that, no matter what could be going on, I have something that can help me at that moment! I try to use natural means to lower anxiety whenever I can.
Here are a few of my favorite oils and what I use them for when parenting with anxiety:
- Lavender, using this just before bed can help calm your anxious thoughts and feelings from the day.
- Orange or Grapefruit are happy oils that really help boost your mood and give you a sense of joy and refreshment in the morning!
- Frankincense is the anytime/all-day oil and can be used for focus and calm! (If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me ;))
- Peppermint, a personal fav! This one is good for a pick-me-up in the morning and is fabulous for headaches (when you just can’t take it anymore, you know, “those” days)!
- Valor (Young Living) Ugh, this oil is a “can’t live without” one! I use this for days where I feel super anxious and can’t deal with parenting, general tasks, work-related stress, and so much more! It’s a must-have for sure!
- Peace and Calming (Young Living) – Self Explanatory!
- Progessence Plus (Young Living), An ALL-TIME fav! This has helped balance out my wacky hormones, improved my moods, and made my monthly cycle a little more bearable!
Just so you know, I don’t sell these oils, but I am providing you a link if you’d like to purchase them! If you leave the referral code in, it’ll connect you with a great sales rep and a ton of priceless resources! (No benefits to me whatsoever)
12. Do Things You Love and
Be Present with Your Kids
Doing some things you enjoy is such an overlooked necessity of great mental wellness!
Although parenting can be super exhausting at times, we want to make sure some things help us enjoy it. Anxiety can rob us of the excitement of childhood if we let it. Suddenly you blink, and they are 22! The last thing you want to look back on in regret is raising your children.
It’s always important to do things your kids love to do, but it is equally critical that you do with them what YOU love to do too.
For example, my daughter loves barbies, and I hate playing with them. I loved them as a kid, but for some reason, I cannot stand playing barbies now as a 33-year-old adult. I play them with her for a limited time, and the dread on my face when she asks me to play barbies must be easy to spot. Sorry if that makes me sound like a bad mom, but it’s so true!
BUT, if I can do arts and crafts with her, I enjoy that so much more. It’s now become “our thing!” Everyone in our family knows that arts and crafts are something only “we” do together! It’s our bonding time!
Doing things YOU enjoy with your kids will give you a sense of fulfillment and joy. You will have a sense of pride in the present. If you only do things you dread with them, it will bring about guilt and anxiety. You won’t be present with them; you’ll be looking for the next escape. “Daddy, don’t you want to come to play barbies?” LOL
Anxiety is difficult to deal with, but being present with your kids and enjoying those moments will lead to a life you’ll never regret!
As a parent, daily life can be hectic, stressful, and overwhelming. If you couple parenting with anxiety, stress, and panic, the hard days become magnified! Whether you decide to use 1 or all 12 of these life hacks for parenting with anxiety, they will be life-changing to you.
Let me know in the comments how these tips helped you!!!
Saying Goodbye to Anxious,
Kristina G.
