Have you ever thought, "I should really get counseling," but laughed it off because you didn't REALLY think your problem was, "THAT serious?" This article is for you!
These are the Top 7 Not-So-Obvious Signs That You Should Get Counseling!
I don't know about you, but this pandemic brought a lot of clarity to my life, maybe a bit of confusion too, but LOTS of clarity for sure! For the first time in years, I saw the areas I needed to experience healing in. Once I realized where I needed help, it provoked me to get Counseling.
From that, I learned some of the hidden signs I had for years that pointed to my need for Counseling!
This article is all about the
7 hidden Signs You Should Get Counseling!
Signs to get Counseling
1st sign you should get counseling:
Lack of contentment
There is something to be said about living a fully satisfying life. It leaves you with contentment when you lay your head down on your pillow at night. Life is supposed to feel that way. If it doesn't, and you go years without that feeling - that could be your first sign that you should get Counseling.
Now that I look back, after the fact, I can see how my lack of contentment was a significant sign that I needed Counseling.
My Personal Experience with this:
My husband and I were drinking coffee one morning together before our kids woke up; it was a beautiful morning. He began to express his gratitude for that moment, the quiet and calm, the joy of a healthy and loving marriage, and the gratitude he felt for the amount of growth we both experienced in the recent months.
It was pretty beautiful, but something significant was missing. Although everything he said was true, I didn't have nearly the amount of gratitude that he was experiencing.
My life satisfaction was miles away from his at that moment. I knew in my mind all of those things he said were true, and yet somehow, I couldn't experience all of the contentment and gratitude in the present that he was.
The feeling I was having seemed "off," and situationally inappropriate. It was the very first moment when I realized, "I really think I need counseling."
other articles on the benefits of counseling!
2nd sign you should get counseling:
EASILY ANGERED
Lacking patience in some areas can be normal, especially when you have kids, LOL. However, the type of frustration I am referring to leans more towards anger than lack of patience. It feels almost like an uncontrollable emotion. You never know what or where it is triggered within you.
My Personal Experience with this:
For years I did self-care and introspection work to try and fix the sudden outbursts of anger I experienced often. I even did diets to try and regulate hormones that I thought were the problem. You name it, and I tried it. For me, it seemed like such an easy fix but turned out to be nearly impossible. I would go months without blowing up, and then something very sudden and out of nowhere would cause me to get angry super quickly! I was so ashamed and embarrassed, yet I felt hopeless.
As my daughter got older and could start to recognize these blow-ups and how easily frustrated I could become, it became my mission to figure out what was causing it.
I decided to seek out counseling. It turns out. It had everything to do with past wounds that laid unhealed in the very core of my being. Only counseling could have helped me discover this as I had YEARS of experience trying independently to no avail.
If you can relate to this, remember that being triggered doesn't make you a bad person. You could have some undealt with traumas, unhealed wounds, or unmanaged feelings. Counseling can help you shift perspectives on those and ultimately heal from them.
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3rd sign you should get counseling:
anxiety is quickly triggered
Not all anxiety requires counseling, although talking to someone could help in most cases.
Though we should normalize anxiety in our society to remove the shame and stigma attached, it shouldn't be normalized to walk around 24/7 with it. No one should feel that way all the time. Anxiety robs us of joy and rest, hope and peace. Those are gifts from our creator, and we shouldn't live absent of those.
If minor things in your life trigger anxiety, whether you've learned how to manage it or not, it's a clear sign that counseling could help you!
For years (at least 10), I thought living with anxiety daily was just a normal part of life. Then I got counseling. Now it comes and goes, but it's much more typical for me to be stress-free and hopeful than full of anxiety.
4th sign counseling could help you:
You've never experienced
sustained happiness
Though this point is similar to the first one, I felt it deserved a highlight because a desire for sustained happiness played a significant role in my personal need for counseling.
My Personal Experience:
In 2018 I was severely overweight. I thought for years that my unhappiness was related to my health. If I could get healthy, then I would finally be happy. However, by the summer of 2019, I had lost 90 lbs and was healthier than I had ever in my life. Yet I was still not happy for any extended time. This left me questioning everything!
I decided to hunker down on my spiritual walk and relationship with Jesus, thinking I had surely lost some of that focus while trying to lose weight. I just needed to regain that. As I started to journal and pray more, read books, and worship more than I usually would, though my relationship with Jesus grew, my happiness was still very circumstantial and only lasted momentarily.
I became overwhelmed and discouraged.
I felt hopeless.
Would I ever be truly happy or know what joy really felt like?
This sign of unstained happiness stood alone and screamed in the loudest possible voice to the deepest places of my being, "you really should get counseling, maybe it would help."
After starting counseling, within a month, I began to experience happiness as it was meant to be—no reason at all, just happy. There was no need to earn it or perform to keep it, just happy.
The perspective changes that counseling brought to my life gave meaning to the words of Jesus when he said, "I came to give you life and life more abundantly."
articles related to my health journey on goodbye anxious!
5th sign counseling could help you:
placing unrealistic expectations
on yourself or others
Blame it on having high standards if you want to, but it won't make you feel any better at the end of the day. Unrealistic expectations will suck the joy right out of you. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Having unrealistic expectations are tough to spot because you wouldn't have them if you didn't believe they were somehow actually realistic.
My Personal Experience:
As a response to being unhappy in certain seasons of my life, I created a view of the perfect life that was completely unattainable. I had standards in my mind for the type of mother and wife I would be and even the kind of Christian I wanted to be. There is absolutely nothing unhealthy about standards, but mine (the unrealistic kind), left no room for failure or shortcomings. There was no grace for improvement.
Each time I failed to meet my standards, I would beat myself up, living in cycles of grief, disappointment, shame, and irrational thoughts.
If I had done everything perfectly in my mind and my standards of life still weren't being met, I would blame God, family members, and even my spouse. Placing my unrealistic expectations on them was just as unhealthy for them as they were for me.
Counseling helped me notice these unhealthy narratives I was playing in my head. It also helped me see that I could live a happy and content life without perfection. In fact, it taught me that no one is perfect at all. We all struggle.
I share this vulnerable aspect of my life because I think it's better for anxiety if we share our struggles and normalize these types of things!
Maybe if it helped me, it could help you too!
Other articles on the dangers
of unrealistic expectations:
6th sign you should get counseling:
You can't get over the past
No matter how hard you try or how many years removed you are, you can't seem to escape the memory or trauma of a painful event or season of life. Prolonged grief, undealt with traumas, or bitterness that has been gaining compound interest in your heart over the years can leave you in a place where life seems tolerated and managed at best.
If you have memories in your life that cause you anxiety and stress, when you think about them or others mention them, you could experience a ton of healing through counseling.
Other articles on the reasons to get counseling:
7th sign counseling could help you:
You live life in the
"what ifs & If onlys"
Whether about yourself or about others and experiences you have, if you find yourself constantly reflecting in regret, pondering things like "if only," or "what if," counseling could help you get over that hump.
Here are a few examples of these questions:
- What if THAT didn't happen to me?
- What if I had never made that mistake?
- What if that person never apologizes to me?
- If only I were more intelligent or more beautiful.
- If only I had never given up on that dream.
- If only that family member or friend never died.
The list could go on and on—the "what ifs" and "if onlys" of life are, quite frankly, endless.
If you struggle in this way, counseling could help you see the deeper reasoning of this and help you overcome living in regret.
Happiness is found in the present not the past, and regret does nothing beneficial for your mental health. Counseling helped me tremendously in this area.
You deserve to live a life full of joy and happiness. If you have tried everything and feel like you are at the end of yourself, don't give up hope just yet! You may have clicked on this article by happenstance, but God knew just what you needed!
Counseling can help you see your life from another, often clearer, perspective. Don't let the stigma of needing counseling keep you from embracing the very thing that could lead to your healing.
These have been the 7 Not-So-Obvious Signs
You Should Get Counseling.
I pray that these have helped you. At the very least, I pray you don't feel alone in your struggle. Check out the links within the article for assistance with counseling!
Share in the comments below how this helped you.
