Needing advice for new parents?
You may have clicked on this article in frustration, desperation, or even curiosity! If you are struggling with LOADS of questions about your new parenting journey, this article is for you!
These are our top words of
advice for new parents!
When it comes to advice for new parents often, we talk about what brands to use, what diapers keep your baby dry, and what home remedies to use for congestion and teething. But what happens when that isn't REALLY what you are looking for?! What do you do when things you have questions about aren't things people typically talk about?
The feelings of isolation and frustration invade your mind with a vengeance. New parent anxiety is real, and we are here to help! These tips will help you in a super-practical way to enjoy your new journey to the fullest!
This article is all about our top tips and words of advice for new parents, anxiety edition!
Advice for New Parents
Don't expect to have a ton of productivity in the first few months.
Your new job is to parent, and parenting is all-consuming! Don't feel guilty if you have to say "no" to many other things! The overwhelming feelings you have are totally normal!
If your birth plan doesn't go as planned, it's not your fault.
Don't set your expectations too high for that. I always feel like doctors don't express that enough in your prenatal appointments!
Don't overthink the birth plan because the likelihood that it will change is HIGH!
Birth is unpredictable. Enjoy the process and rest your mind in the weeks leading up to the big day!
Babies are only tiny for a short time, do your best to enjoy every minute without focusing on how inadequate you feel.
We all feel that way sometimes. No one is the perfect parent. Rest in that!
There is ABSOLUTELY no shame in needing help
Ask for it from family members, your spouse, friends, and even your doctors. Most of the time, people don't announce to the world when they ask for help. You're probably not as alone as you think!
If you are breastfeeding and you don't produce as much milk as your baby needs, do not allow shame or guilt to overwhelm you.
Supplementing is NORMAL! You can only do what you can do. Do not abuse your body trying to get more and more milk. If I have one regret as a new parent, it's this! The amount of pressure I put on my body to produce breast milk was awful. It turns out I had damaged milk ducts. After all the mental strain, it was something I couldn't control.
Breastfeeding is great, but stopping is better if it costs you your mental health and wellness.
Your baby deserves a healthy and happy mama more than breast milk.
Ask other moms and dads what products they use and love.
Please don't waste a ton of time on the internet looking for products. It's an endless rabbit trail of ads and offers! Using what others find is practical is the best use of your limited alone time before the baby comes!
Certain products are more for you than they are for the baby.
If an Owlet or Video Monitor eliminates anxiety, invest in one. Don't feel deterred by the price tag! Your mental health is WORTH every penny! Also, Amazon has an excellent option for pricer items on your registry to be cost-shared by multiple givers! I did this for the Elvie pump, and it was a great blessing!
my favorite anxiety-eliminating products for new parents:
VTech Upgraded Smart WiFi Baby Monitor VM901
Owlet Dream Duo: Dream Sock Baby Monitor and HD Camera
You cannot love your baby too much!
I once had a cashier in a checkout line tell me that I was spoiling my baby because she was crying, and I picked her up. My response was, "she's only 6 months old!" You cannot and will not spoil your baby with too much love and attention.
Rock your baby to sleep for as long as you want to!
It doesn't matter if your best friend sleep trains their kids. YOU DO YOU! I rocked my first daughter until she was 3, every single night, for an hour or more! She's seven now, and I never, for a single moment, regretted that decision!
If you are prone to panic, make a plan with your spouse/family member to handle those moments in parenting.
If you have a panic attack, the last thing you need to worry about is how to hide it from your kids or the guilt of losing it in front of them. Make a plan because fearful and overwhelming moments DO happen in parenting. It's better to prepare in advance.
If having a moment where you lack the patience to handle your baby's uncontrollable crying, there is no shame in putting them safely in the crib or the arms of your significant other and walking away for a breather.
If you need it, do it. If that happens, you aren't a bad parent, and your baby will not feel abandoned by you. It's better not to be frustrated. Stabilizing your emotions is important.
You do not have to split the tasks evenly as a mom and dad.
You can do your preferred jobs every time if that works for your family. Do what fits you best! An example of this is my husband makes the bottle and gets bedtime tasks done every time, and I change dirty diapers every time there is one. Split the tasks for what works for you, and there is no expectation to that - it's your family!
Prioritize sleep for both you and your baby!
Getting a babysitter for a date night (whether by yourself when you're single or married) isn't a luxury.
It's a must. If you are married, prioritizing your marriage is essential to your family's health overall!
Do not lose yourself in the process of parenting.
You are a mom, but you are not JUST a mom! I've seen too many moms do this! Prioritize self-care in some small way every day. It's my spin-bike workout and journaling for me! Sometimes it's an hour, and sometimes it's 10 minutes! Just do something, no matter how large or small.
Co-Sleeping is fine if it works for you! There are tons of safe product options to best fit your needs!
Great co-sleeping options:
Cloud Baby Premium Baby Bassinet
When you want to make sudden changes to your baby's schedule (traveling or visiting a friend or family member during a nap), it's helpful to prepare mentally for it not to go well.
Sometimes it's hard not to put an expectation on our baby when we put in all the work to make it go well, and it doesn't. It's better to expect difficulty than to be shocked by it.
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If your child spits up a ton, try burping them every few ounces until they get a little older.
My first daughter spit up a ton! I burped her once after each feeding, thinking that was enough! When my 2nd daughter started the same thing, I tried burping her more - problem solved! I couldn't believe it was that simple. Before switching formulas and trying medicines with our first daughter, no professionals gave me that advice.
Your baby's schedule will constantly be changing as they grow, do not get too secure in one schedule. Mentally prepare for that! Be flexible.
If you have more than one kid, do not "divide and conquer" with your spouse when taking care of your kids.
My husband and I did this with our 6 year old and newborn. I took responsibility for the baby, and he took our 6-year-old. This made our oldest feel abandoned by me (her mom) and less loved than her new sister. This caused a whole slew of issues later and was by far my BIGGEST mistake when bringing in a new baby! Our kids need to feel as cared for as they were before the new baby!
The rules you have for your baby are not stupid. Maintain your boundaries!
You will already feel out of control in so many areas of your life when becoming a new parent. It would be best if you didn't feel pressured or obligated to remove certain boundaries that you've put in place because others don't like them. Some examples are not kissing the baby, washing your hands before holding the baby, and nap times, to name a few.
If you genuinely want someone's advice, ask. However, feel free to ignore unsolicited advice. You will get PLENTY of it! Protect your peace.
Ignore critical comments (or non-verbal disapprovals) about your parenting style and choices.
We all have to do that at some point. Know your worth and value to your baby, and don't let others' opinions put your mental health in the dumps.
Unfollow any influencers or Facebook groups that hinder your ability to see your worth and value and appreciate your uniqueness as a parent. Their way isn't "THE way." It's just "A way." You've got this!
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Do not compare yourself to other parents! You do not have to be the same type of parent as someone else.
Your child deserves and desires for you to be who you are, comfortably, without reserve. God knew just who you were when He blessed you with your baby!
Do not forget to add the baby's needs into your monthly budget!
I forgot how much diapers and formula cost when I had my second daughter! I highly recommend starting your baby budget line item 2-5 months before having your baby!
If your child has a sudden disdain for a particular food or you notice sudden breakouts, they could have a slight food allergy.
My youngest reacted to red food dye, and I thought she had a virus causing rashes for weeks! Look at food first.
Buy dye-free medicines.
Red food dye allergies are a thing, and they can also cause other phycological issues and physical symptoms. Here's some research on that.
Those teeth will come in, and you will sleep again. Just hold on. LOL.
Sleep regressions, developmental leaps, and growth spurts are a thing!
Do not be too worried if your baby hits those early or late, and know that all the frustrations will taper off!
If you make a mistake as a parent (and spoiler alert, you will), be honest with your kids and yourself, say sorry, ask forgiveness and move on.
Your child loves you and will value your sincerity more than you know. Apologies with action impact WAY more than mistakes do!
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If your kid is a picky eater, do the best you can, but don't stress.
Don't feel obligated to over-explain why your kid won't eat veggies. Most kids grow out of the "no veggie" stage! Just choose the best options you can and relax.
You know what's best for your family and your baby.
Often instinct is way more valuable in parenting than someone else's advice. (Professional or not)
You owe no one an explanation of your decisions for your kid.
Homeschool, private or public school, chicken nuggets every day or salads, recreational activities or not, delayed vaccines or CDC schedule... to name a few. It's all your choice. (See the tip above, you know what's best).
Being a new parent can be overwhelming, and a lot of times, the most minor decisions, mistakes, or lack of awareness can leave us FULL of anxiety and rob us of all joy.
Anxiety in parenting has become widely accepted. But what if you could make daily steps to becoming less and less anxious, and you could live a life of freedom, peace, and happiness in your parenting journey?
These have been my top 37 words of advice for new parents! I pray you feel freer than ever to be yourself as you parent your beautiful new bundle of joy!
Your baby deserves that, and you do too!
Let me know in the comments below how this helped you!
Saying Goodbye to Anxious,
Kristina G.
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